10 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

*This is a article I did for private client.  The client changed the topic at the last minute, so this was never published.  I hate to waste brain cells, so please enjoy!* 

If you’re habitually single and you continue experiencing the dreadful, agonizing pains of casual dating then more than likely you’re the problem!

It’s time for a check-up from the neck up!  These are 10 reasons why you’re still single.  See yourself, even slightly, in any of these; consider making some personal adjustments before reentering the dating scene.

1. Too Desperate  

All relationships require some interdependence, yet there is a fine line and some just smell of Desperation 5.0.  Desperation is never attractive! Never call a new perspective partner ten times a day.  Calling to see how their day is going is fine, but calling every hour on the hour is a nuisance. Relax and breathe! The right partner will come along, and things will just flow.  There will be ease and a heartfelt magnetic rhythm pulling you two closer and closer together. 

2. You’re a Liability Not an Asset

Before contemplating any relationship, you must ask yourself, “Am I a liability or an asset?” Please, be truthful in your evaluation. Bringing a prospective partner into a financial hurricane will only put stress on the relationship.  Have a plan to clear your debts, learn your spending habits, and seek assistance from a financial counselor or accountant.  Now, when you meet your relationship match, you would only be an asset to not a liability.

3. Living for the Weekend

Friday, at closing time, you beat everyone to Happy Hour! You live for the weekend! Your weekend consists of Happy Hour, the newest club opening, only to conclude with the late night after-hours spot. There is nothing wrong with going out with friends to have a good time and release stress. Nonetheless, balance is the key. You’ll be surprised who monitors your social media pages. Enjoy your life, but maybe not post a different club pic every weekend.

4. Birds of a Feather Flock Together

“Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”  You are your friends!  We surround ourselves with certain people because they affirm our current life situations. If your desire is marriage, why are all your friends single? Surround yourself with people who have what you want, and then you will rise to the occasion. Your happily married friends are the external motivation needed to get you to the altar.

5. Fear Change

To get different, you must be different!  Many complain, yet never make the necessary changes to bring about any profound changes. Successful people aren’t afraid of change; they embrace it.  Make new friends, venture to different events.  Experiencing things out of your typical day to day will open you up to new people.  You may just meet your partner at that New Mexican restaurant!

6. Home Body

Home body is the person who never leaves the nest. They want a partner, but have a fear of traveling and living away from their childhood home or city. But don't worry, your potential mate will miraculously knock on your door one day!  Not going to Happen! Still living in the same state since the age of 5, RELOCATE!  Learn to travel! Your dream partner may not live in your city! Get off the couch and start living! 

7. Your House is Haunted

Dating you is the equivalent of living in a haunted house! In the silent hours of the night, the screams and sighs of your dating nightmares haunt every conversation and encounter. Cleanse and heal from your past heartbreaks.  Each failure can also be a learning experience when you change your perspective.

8. No Flexibility

THE LIST! Women do this literally, while men do this mentally. The list may even be realistic and honorable at face value but creates an all or nothing atmosphere prematurely.  Your prospect may comply with 95% of your demands but only falter by 5%.  You overlook the good, focusing on the bad.  Everyone has room for improvement.  Be flexible, communicate your concerns and your perspective partner just may surprise you with a game plan to give you that last 5%.

9. Can’t see your Reflection

Positive relationships build you up and to move you forward in life.  Some understand this and the ones who do not are still single. All encounters are a reflection of our current circumstances. A prospective partner will be a reflection of your current status – the good, the bad and the ugly!  See yourself and transform accordingly.

10.    Insecurities equals NO Love

Low esteem and insecurities are red flags and yield controlling relationships. Once you see your reflection, you can begin the journey to complete self-love.  Learn to love your true self, the positives and the negatives.  If you can change the negatives, great!  If not, love them still.  When you love yourself, others will love you too.

Check-up complete! NOW smile, reflect and adjust!