Am I enough?

Can I actually accomplish all my dreams?  Can I solely write and make a profitable living from it?  Can I raise successful, balanced children?  Can I be a good daughter and sister, yet still live my life on my terms?

I say YES!!

I  am and will continue to accomplish all my dreams.  I'm a successful freelance writer.  I'm raising successful, balanced children.  I'm a good daughter and sister, and I'm still living my life on my own terms.

I affirm to myself what I AM, not what I hope to be or what I can't or possibly would one day want to be. 

I affirm to the present and I am and make it so! 

I have times of self-doubt.  For example, when I'm having a difficult time finding the right words for a client or when I'm writing something and it just doesn't flow.  I doubt myself and think I may have picked the wrong profession. 

Especially now when I'm shifting gears and moving towards writing full-time. 

It's scary! But I affirm my dreams and my talent. 

I'm doing the work to learn the craft.  Changing my environments, making sure I surround myself with people of like minds and goals. People who have and are on the same journey. 
I have patience with myself and always remember. I can do this!

Please enjoy an original poem of self-actualization...


Am I enough?

I was told I was a sinner
Babies being baptized and can't even piss straight
We're taught to live in a condition of less than

Am I enough?

In school I always heard...you can do better, work harder, make better grades
They always wanted more...more with no appreciation of my presence.

Wasn't I enough?

Your hair looks better like this.
Are you gaining weight?
Oh, you look too thin...
Get out the sun, before you get too dark
You have a pretty face tho...

So I...

Made straight A's,
Lost weight,
Stayed out the sun,
Grew my hair long,
Was always polite and soft-spoken or never spoke at all.

Was this enough?

Then one day,  I lit a candle, looked within, then a voice whispered...

YOU ARE ENOUGH.
YOU ARE PERFECTLY MADE.
REMEMBER YOUR PURPOSE.
WORK AND GROW IN TALENTS.
ALWAYS MOVE IN LOVE AND GIVE PATIENCE,GENEROUSLY.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.

My child-bearing hips are enough.
My wide nose is enough.
My hair grows perfectly without chemical manipulation.
It is enough.

All that I am and All I will be is and will be divinely ENOUGH.

So, I can?  Yes, I can.  I will continue to always be divinely enough.

You living or "filling"?

We all want things out of life.  We want a new job, you would like to find love, we want new clothes and even new furniture.  But are you making room in your life to receive a new job, love, and all the things you desire?

For the majority of us, the answer is NO! We want and we consume, but we never make room to receive. 

If we want a new wardrobe, where would we hang the clothes?  Our closets are filled with old clothes which do not fit our current fashion style or current body size. We want a new car, but have yet to clean out the garage.  We want a new loving relationship, yet we continuously stay in dead end relationships and even more intriguing, we entertain exes when we know nothing significant will ever come from it - just "filler" sex, "filler" connection, a "filler" date. 

Clutter and the habit of "filling" up space, is the biggest emotional and physical barrier in our lives.  

Cluttered mindset, cluttered "filled" closets and houses, nor cluttered "fill - in" relationships will not give us what we want.  

It keeps us living in spiritual lack, financial lack, and lifeless personal connections.  

You ain't living you "filling"!

"Filling" up our lives with unnecessary junk and people whom we really don't need or like. It's comfortable and easy, so we just "filler up" in hopes one day something more appealing will fall in our laps. 

Make room to receive! 

3 simple rules for removing clutter:

1. What value does it serve?  Everything has to have a valuable purpose.  We need it to function in our everyday lives, we get enjoyment from it, or we simply love it. If something just sits there and serves no immediate functional or esthetic purpose, it just may be on the list for goodwill or a yard sale. This goes for possessions and people! 

2. Will the person or things be a functional component in my new desired life? Will this person or possession be beneficial to me in my future?  Will I need to move it to another part of my house/life, or completely out of my house/life? 

3. Go back to #1 and #2 and truly evaluate everything and everyone in your life. 

You meet a new man or woman, you're really attracted to them, and you find out you all really have a lot in common. But oops, you still have a lingering "filler" relationship - taking up space, blocking any forward movement with your new chance at love.  

We can't receive when you continuously "filling" our way through life. 

Clear out space and breathe!  When that new trinket or person comes along, we don't have to rack our brains on where and how it will become a part of our lives.  It will already have a space available and waiting. 

Live your life in a manner  that everything serves a purpose for your greater good. Simply "filling" space is bogus and blocking your new beginnings.   

  

You living or just "filling"?

The Love I Didn't Know, Part II

How was I to recognize genuine love when the first man designated to love me fell short?

Well, eventually I did!  

With one head-butt, I realized my life could either go two ways. I would either be dead or in jail for defending myself. Therefore, removing myself from the environment was the safest and smartest decision.  
I asked myself some serious questions.  

• What was my pattern with all my relationships? 
• Why did I always expect the worse?
• Did I accept ownership of my life choices?
• Who was I ? What were my talents?
• Did I love myself enough to want the best?
• How did the absence of a father affect my overall view of men and relationships? 

Now I didn't make this miraculous change overnight or six months. This was and still is an ongoing personal journey.  I really started seeing a change when I wouldn't settle in my friendships and personal relationships.  


Courtesy of pinetrest.com

I stopped allowing disrespect and neglect.  I began to teach people how to treat me.  If this was a problem, then I politely removed myself from the person or the environment. I became comfortable with my own company.  I embraced every aspect of myself.  Things I didn't like, I worked and changed them.
I began taking compliments.  Yes, taking compliments!  Often times, I would receive a compliment, then proceed to point out a flaw or add a "but" to the person's compliment.  Now I simply say, "Thank you"!  



Courtesy of drdivanyoung.com

With issues concerning my father and my love relationships, I had to recognize the similarities between the men and my father.   I become aware of the fact, I chose men very similar to my father. I had to acknowledge I had "daddy issues". Now I can check myself, if and when I start to fall back in those same destruction patterns and behaviors.  

By acknowledging the behavior, I now had the power to change it. 

I'm learning to love myself as I am.  I was made this way for a purpose. So I am embracing myself and loving the way I am. I understand I'm not perfect.  Nevertheless, I love myself! 

The more I love myself the more other people love me.

Some couldn't take the changes, but they respect me for living out my life's journey.
  
How did I recognize genuine love? I began to develop a genuine love of self.  Who I was, where I came from, finding my purpose and talents. 

I literally began to love myself! 

Yes, not having a consistent father figure, will give any man and woman daddy issues. When we acknowledge the loss and pain, we can own it and heal.  I started to truly love myself, I expect only the best and I also give the best in return.  I recognized the genuine love because I genuinely grew in love with myself.  

Carrice, Present Day