Future-Self vs. Present-Self: Tackling Procrastination

Procrastination is the delaying or postponing of action.  With the New Year just a few days away, what's sitting on the "life bench" waiting to get in the game?

Author and entrepreneur, James Clear articulates procrastination as the internal struggle of the Present-Self versus the Future-Self. The Present-Self can't see the future benefits of starting now, due to living in a state of pleasure seeking and instant gratification.

I had to fight my procrastination monster by executing a career/life game plan for myself. I set-up a writing schedule and workout schedule.  To accomplish my career goals - I have to write!  Likewise to achieve and maintain my physical goals - I have to workout! 

Many days I have no desire of going to the gym, I want to surf the internet and snack on chips, but then I imagine walking on the beach in Ghana with my back out.  So I ease on down to the gym and hit the elliptical on Fat Burn!  My Future-Self wins! To satisfy my Present-Self; I listen to my favorite African Hip-Hop playlist as I sweat the stress and back-fat away. 

My Present-Self loves new dresses and pedicures every week. Then my Future-Self loudly whispers, "you already have dresses you've only worn once! You haven't walked any red-carpets, so close pop-up shop advertisement - Invest in Bitcoin and Secure my legacy with Gold!"

Tackling procrastination with a defensive game plan sacks

counter-productive behaviors at the line of scrimmage.  (I know a little something-something about football). 


3 Ways to Tackle Procrastination

1. Have an accountability partner.  Share plans with someone who will hold you accountable to put action to your goals. Have a set time to communicate updates, receive feedback and motivation. 

2. Pair procrastinating tasks with enjoyable tasks. On many occasions, I like pairing writing with a nice glass of wine. When it's gym time, I tune the earbuds to my favorite E.L. song and get this body moving!

3. Love your Future-Self while Motivating your Present-Self. 
Love your potential Future-Self and let your Present-Self move you to decisive action. Imagine and love the way it will feel to wear that little black dress without having to wear a lung collapsing girdle. Love the feeling of success when completing a degree and having the option of choosing from three job offers! Love your Future-Self enough by keeping your Present-Self in check! 

Don't procrastinate! Make the present work for your best future! 

Add Faith, Stir in Trust and Sprinkle with Patience

After applying for several positions within a company, I finally got a promotion and a substantial pay increase. Before signing the job offer, I started to imagine all the potential struggles I would have to encounter.  Could I manage the new responsibly?  Did I ask for enough money to compensate the tax increase? 

I sabotaged my own happiness! 

This year has continuously brought this character flaw to my attention.  As I begin making my writing career a personal priority, dissecting my history and relationship with money, and raising three little girls; I've had to learn how to live in the present and bask in my successes without contemplating imaginary disasters.   

If I've had enough mental courage to make it this far, why wouldn't I have enough intelligence and gumption to take my life, my family, and my career to the next level? 

The ups and downs, the twists and quick roundabouts of 2017, have opened my eyes to areas of sweeping personal, physical and spiritual improvement. 

Now I add faith, stir in trust and sprinkle it all with patience. 

FAITH

I needed to increase my Faith in the physical, emotional and spiritual support systems presently available to me. 

The simple fact of my existence is all the proof required to honor the majesty of my life's purpose.  

If I weren't meant to be here, I wouldn't be.  Now, I just need to have faith and believe in my goals and make every day a living and breathing testimonial of my gratitude for having the ability to share my talents with the world.  

The creator wouldn't give me a dream if I couldn't accomplish it!  Increasing my faith gives me space to relax and create.  The rest is being worked out on my behalf.  So why worry? 

With faith, I'm attracting all the physical and emotional support I need in the here and now. So all bases are covered. I just have to do my work and become the person I was destined to be. 

TRUST

I needed to trust my talent. I had to believe in my ability as a writer.  I was procrastinating making excuses to why I didn't have time to write, why I couldn't write on a daily basis and why I had to stay in a career so misaligned with my purpose; my life was a lackluster empty shell. I was living for the weekend. Then hated to see Monday morning. 

Trusting the process of manifestation is needed in creating new beginnings.  

I've always had the personal deposition of persistence and perseverance when it came to handling problems and conflicts. Now, trusting in those same personal characteristics would be the key to manifesting all my dreams.  Then creating a life of endless possibilities. 

PATIENCE

This journey has been a test of my patience!  When things haven't happened as quickly as I'd hoped, it grew my patience. Certain times for a variety of reason, I couldn't do anything but wait!  During incubation periods, I nurtured other talents, doing remedial studies of my life, making sure I would be ready for my new existence.  

Patience kindles the gentle energies of gratitude.  

Practicing patience makes me grateful for what I already have.  Patience develops my emotional stamina, making me internally invincible to external distractions. Now in every task, I sprinkle patience, becoming fully present to all life has to offer. 

Slowly simmering or being brought to a raging boil, the added ingredients of Faith, Trust and Patience makes this life savor with the sweet smells of success. 

What Moves You?

As humans, we're moved on our emotions! We see something, it evokes feelings and we take action!  We hear something; it evokes an emotion we take action!  We smell something, it evokes an emotion, then yet again, we proceed with a specific action! 

What Moves You?

The Plutchik's Theory of Emotion states there are only eight primary emotional states:
1. Anger
2. Fear
3. Sadness
4. Disgust
5. Surprise
6. Anticipation
7. Trust
8. Joy



Once again, what moves you?  What emotions are pushing you into action? 

Are your action primarily based on the emotion of fear, surprise or disgust?  You only decided to stay in your current career because you're fearful of not making enough money to feed your family? Or do you trust yourself and your talents enough to start your own business? 

To thrive and move pass merely surviving, we must move from a place of Trust, Joy, and Anticipation.  Many of us are living within the emotions of Fear, Anger, and Disgust.   

Staying in a unhealthy relationship, due to the fear of not being desirable to any other person, isn't living! It's holding us hostage, to continuously experience the emotions of Panic, Terror, Timidity, and Apprehension (refer to emotion graphic).  

Being overly distracted (state of surprise) by television and pop culture, instead of proactively learning how to manage your finances will not benefit your wallet. Your relationship with money is perpetually dwelling in Uncertainty (refer to emotion graphic). 

With two more weeks before 2018, it's time to take action and evaluate our emotions and learn precisely...

What Moves You? 

10 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

*This is a article I did for private client.  The client changed the topic at the last minute, so this was never published.  I hate to waste brain cells, so please enjoy!* 

If you’re habitually single and you continue experiencing the dreadful, agonizing pains of casual dating then more than likely you’re the problem!

It’s time for a check-up from the neck up!  These are 10 reasons why you’re still single.  See yourself, even slightly, in any of these; consider making some personal adjustments before reentering the dating scene.

1. Too Desperate  

All relationships require some interdependence, yet there is a fine line and some just smell of Desperation 5.0.  Desperation is never attractive! Never call a new perspective partner ten times a day.  Calling to see how their day is going is fine, but calling every hour on the hour is a nuisance. Relax and breathe! The right partner will come along, and things will just flow.  There will be ease and a heartfelt magnetic rhythm pulling you two closer and closer together. 

2. You’re a Liability Not an Asset

Before contemplating any relationship, you must ask yourself, “Am I a liability or an asset?” Please, be truthful in your evaluation. Bringing a prospective partner into a financial hurricane will only put stress on the relationship.  Have a plan to clear your debts, learn your spending habits, and seek assistance from a financial counselor or accountant.  Now, when you meet your relationship match, you would only be an asset to not a liability.

3. Living for the Weekend

Friday, at closing time, you beat everyone to Happy Hour! You live for the weekend! Your weekend consists of Happy Hour, the newest club opening, only to conclude with the late night after-hours spot. There is nothing wrong with going out with friends to have a good time and release stress. Nonetheless, balance is the key. You’ll be surprised who monitors your social media pages. Enjoy your life, but maybe not post a different club pic every weekend.

4. Birds of a Feather Flock Together

“Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”  You are your friends!  We surround ourselves with certain people because they affirm our current life situations. If your desire is marriage, why are all your friends single? Surround yourself with people who have what you want, and then you will rise to the occasion. Your happily married friends are the external motivation needed to get you to the altar.

5. Fear Change

To get different, you must be different!  Many complain, yet never make the necessary changes to bring about any profound changes. Successful people aren’t afraid of change; they embrace it.  Make new friends, venture to different events.  Experiencing things out of your typical day to day will open you up to new people.  You may just meet your partner at that New Mexican restaurant!

6. Home Body

Home body is the person who never leaves the nest. They want a partner, but have a fear of traveling and living away from their childhood home or city. But don't worry, your potential mate will miraculously knock on your door one day!  Not going to Happen! Still living in the same state since the age of 5, RELOCATE!  Learn to travel! Your dream partner may not live in your city! Get off the couch and start living! 

7. Your House is Haunted

Dating you is the equivalent of living in a haunted house! In the silent hours of the night, the screams and sighs of your dating nightmares haunt every conversation and encounter. Cleanse and heal from your past heartbreaks.  Each failure can also be a learning experience when you change your perspective.

8. No Flexibility

THE LIST! Women do this literally, while men do this mentally. The list may even be realistic and honorable at face value but creates an all or nothing atmosphere prematurely.  Your prospect may comply with 95% of your demands but only falter by 5%.  You overlook the good, focusing on the bad.  Everyone has room for improvement.  Be flexible, communicate your concerns and your perspective partner just may surprise you with a game plan to give you that last 5%.

9. Can’t see your Reflection

Positive relationships build you up and to move you forward in life.  Some understand this and the ones who do not are still single. All encounters are a reflection of our current circumstances. A prospective partner will be a reflection of your current status – the good, the bad and the ugly!  See yourself and transform accordingly.

10.    Insecurities equals NO Love

Low esteem and insecurities are red flags and yield controlling relationships. Once you see your reflection, you can begin the journey to complete self-love.  Learn to love your true self, the positives and the negatives.  If you can change the negatives, great!  If not, love them still.  When you love yourself, others will love you too.

Check-up complete! NOW smile, reflect and adjust! 

Be Quiet, Yet POWERFUL!

Everyone won't believe in your dreams!  

Don't take the lack of support to mean your dreams aren't

attainable.  Just take it for what it is - that person or group of people can't see your vision for YOUR life.  Once again it's YOUR life and YOUR dream! 

You are the only necessity needed!  

 Believe in yourself!

 Have a plan of action!

 Practice persistence!

 Embrace a positive attitude!

Along the journey, you will attract everything you need. 
When you walk in your purpose and work in your talents, there is no hurdle you can't overcome.  

Of course, support from family and friends would be helpful.  The people who instantly have the support of their family and close friends are satisfied and feel supported while tackling all life goals.  On the other hand, some have to be their own motivation and support; which is OK!  Personally, the people enduring with the latter circumstances,  have the opportunity of weaving a beautiful life story of reliance and self-love, holding it all together by robust tenacity.  

Real character shows in times of conflict!

What are you made of?

If my life had been comfortable, I wouldn't have anything to write, and my blogs would be one dimensional and honestly, boring.  I graciously thank every obstacle!  My obstacles are reminders of who I am and what I'm capable of overcoming. 

Be the support you need, until external support comes.  If it never comes, fine!  Now you've learned how to support yourself and persevere.   

Keep your dreams sacred!

Dreams come to us, during our most quiet hours.  So keep

them just that - QUIET! Share your goals with only close friends, family or your journal.  Social media isn't the place to announce proclamations of the spirit. It's YOUR life journey.  

Your actions will make all the noise and attract everything you need! 

Your dreams can become a reality.  Your creator wouldn't let you see it if you didn't have the POWER to make them come true!