Friday, October 9, 2015

Waiting...

Following the Learn, Love and Learn post...doing all of this will take time.  

Time is a precious commodity.  We get impatient with ourselves and with others. We want everything right now!  I wrote a post on the microwave relationships and how they are impractical and hold no true value.  

I have a journal.  I periodically write my feelings down.  If I'm going through a new change or if something puts me in the mood.   Here is one poem I wrote about having patience and waiting on what I want :


Him...


I'm waiting on him...I'm waiting on him. I know I don't have to wait alone, but I choose to.  I could be content with you, but from the 2nd week; I knew you weren't him. 
He is the one I'm preparing for. 
I'm re-learning and re-membering myself, so he can recognize me. 
I'm waiting on him. 
I already feel his love.  I re-member it as I start to re-learn and 
re-memeber myself, I love myself. 
He loves me now, like he loved me then. 
He is the man!
His memory means more than your presence will ever mean to me. 
I'm waiting...
Re-learning and re-membering me, so he can recognize me and come to me. 
( As he always does... life after life)
We loved and cared for each other.  He built me up to the status of a Queen and I gave him the power of a King.  
We ruled together and the world was in Awe of our love.  Our children were stars in our eyes and we raised them to the sky...together. 
I'm waiting on him...I'm waiting on him...
I know I don't have to wait alone, because you want to be here. 
 It's not a reflection on you, but you will never be him.  
So why hold his place?  
Make your pilgrimage to her. 
So go, go and re-learn yourself and re-member her.  
Because I'm re-learning and re-membering me so he can recognize me... and continue to move me in this lifetime. 
I'm sorry, but I'm waiting and I choose to wait alone. 
Because his memory means more than your presence could ever mean to me. 


I wrote this January 18, 2015. 

I wanted to re-mind myself of my life mission.  To be who I dream of and to have the partner to compliment that dream. It has took some time, but it was worth the wait. 

But patient with yourself and whomever you decide to invite on this journey. 


1love, 

Carrice










Friday, September 18, 2015

Relating and Relationships - Learn, Love and Lead

Let's express relating and build relationships.   To have a family we must learn to relate and build relationships.  First, we must have relate and build relationships with ourselves.

Moving along through life and never taking a self-inventory will produce a life of misery and regret.

I take a self-inventory every month.  What am I doing to progress towards my goals?  What kind of children am I raising?  Am I happy? Am I depressed?  Do I add positive purpose to the people in my life?

If any response is ,"no"... then I need to critically think of a plan for change.

We must learn who we are.  We must love ourselves, then we must lead our lives to accomplish our personal dreams.


LEARN

Learn yourself.  We go to school to educate ourselves. We soak up everything about match and science, but if asked, what is our favorite color, we don't know!  What do you like? What can you do with ease?  What are some traits you want in a equal male or female counterpart? Why have my past relationships failed..what was my contribution to their demise?  Ask the important questions. 

We have bachelors, masters, specialist degrees and even PhD's, but we are flunking Self 101. 

Get to know yourself!  I literally sat down for 10 months during my last pregnancy, and learned Carrice.  Why this, why that.. what I like and what I can't stand.  I did research on Carrice.  Now, I know myself.  What I want and how I'm going about getting it! I can truly say, I love myself.  I may have some moments, but I allow myself to be human. 

A very close male friend told me once, during a self-doubt moment, "Carrice you must love yourself, all of you!  Your body, all of it!  Your body, your hair, your face, your nose, your stomach - you've had three children!  God made you this way for a purpose, so love it and be appreciative!  YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL CARRICE!"  (he speaks very loud, like he swallowed a microphone, the reason for the CAPS)

He was right - I am BEAUTIFUL!  LOL!

Learn who you are then build in love with yourself - the good, the bad and the ugly. 

LOVE

Once we figure out who we are - LOVE it!  Love yourself. Beyonce has a song Flaws and All, before anyone will love us, we must love ourselves, Flaws and All.  Since we took the time to learn what our personal pluses and minuses are, now we can embrace every part of ourselves. 

Release judgement of ourselves, and accept everything.  

The things we don't like, improve on them.  But stop judging ourselves!  If we stop judging ourselves, then eventually we'll stop judging others.  We'll have control over ourselves and wouldn't even care to judge and control others.  We can then live our lives and lead ourselves to greatness!

LEAD

Lead your life and create your dreams!  We now know who we are, we accept and love every part of ourselves, now it's time to lead ourselves in creating the life we want.  So many of us are living for everyone else. We never want to "rock the boat" and be different.  Actually that's what this "LIFE" experience is all about. 

Create your own personal experience and LEAD the way!  

Develop and cultivate what you do with ease and then live in that PURPOSE. Create for ourselves. Work for ourselves. Live our life.  People may not be responsive to the changes at first, but if we are diligent in our purpose; they will respect the changes. 

Learn, Love and Lead ourselves to the life and love we want. Nothing comes without work. A beautiful face and hard muscles will fade over time. However, a beautiful-strong mind and spirit will be everlasting.  

Relating to ourselves in a more positive manner will build better loving relationships. Productive relationships equals Productive Families. 


1love, 

Friday, September 11, 2015

Community - Succeed Together

The weather is changing and I feel a new shift approaching in my life.  Time to put action to my words and persistently thrive in my purpose! 

When we make a conscious decision to change,then add persistent action  - EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

First the change will start within, then the community will be there for support.  

Community?  Yes, our community!  

But wait...we don't have communities anymore!  

We barely have stable family units.  Just single-parents or married, not in love partners, in constant SURVIVAL MODE trying to maintain the image of  happiness. 

I'm being sarcastic(but I'm really not)...

Where is my community?  Who do I turn to when I feel weak?  When I feel like not surviving through another work week?  When I'm emotionally exhausted from parenting hormonal teenagers?

I generally internalize all my real problems, then over time; make a way.  That's emotionally exhausting! This is why I meditate daily, to free myself from all the stress.  Of course, I have friends and my mother(shout-out to my mom); but where is my community?

Community is defined as : 


1. A group of people living in the same place, or having a particular characteristic in common, especially one practicing common ownership

2. A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interest, and goals.

3. Joint Ownership and Liability

We've become so individualistic.  What I want, What I need, What's in it for me - WE have forgotten about the WHOLE.  

I live in a nice neighborhood, but do I really know my neighbors?  NO! We all live separate lives.

Yes, I have friends.  We talk about our problems, personal and family issues, but do we really support each other in resolving these conflicts? If my daughter is failing math, does my friend care?  If her son is having a hard time coping with the social changes of high school, do I truly care and  take ownership that her problem is my problem?  

NO. 

We're in a time where, their problem is their problem.  Yes, I will give some soothing words of advice.  But will I actually support her in putting action to my words of support? 

Community is Joint Ownership and Liability.  In a community, if her son was having a hard time, then my son is  having a hard time.  We are ONE.  The community would come in and support her family in helping the child. 

In a community, when one is weak the community is weak.  When one marriage is dissolving, the community is losing an important component.  The community is liable for not counseling and maintaining that marriage.  Therefore, a community will do everything to heal the couples' marital problems.  A weak family unit means a weak community.  They are ONE!

Community is support! We need support! Support to reach our Shared Common Goals!

I believe that's why we have so many divorces, so many single parent homes, so many unwed mothers and fathers, so many boys and girls lost, and so many angry men and women.   We aren't supporting each other through life struggles.  

We hide our problems. Sharing problems is an invitation for judgments from family and friends. Will they truly care or will they just tell my business to everyone and laugh behind my back? Some people can see the struggle of others, but they ignore it.  Some feel if it doesn't affect them personally, then they don't care.  Some generally don't want to be bothered with the burden of actually helping or supporting others through rough times. They seem concerned, but really they would rather just maintain their own lives; surviving and maintaining the facade of happiness,  the best way they can. 

Through all of lives ups and downs we need a community to share in the ups and hold us up when we start to fall.  

I don't know about you, but I need a community.  So, I'm building one!  Starting with my circle! A circle of liked minded individuals to grow and support each other in reaching our shared common goals!   I'm attracting exactly who and what I desire!

This has to stop!  In order for us to succeed and prepare a better place for the next generation, we need strong communities. To have strong communities we must first have strong family units.  Mother, Father and Child.  So for the next couple of weeks I will give my expressions on the family. So we can prepare to grow and build in LOVE with our male and female counterparts to produce balanced, focused children. 

If there is a Feeling of Fellowship because of Shared Common Attitudes, Interest, and Goals - let's be a community. 

Let's stop surviving and let's start THRIVING!

Some may not understand and agree, but these are just the Expressions by Carrice

1love

Carrice




Friday, August 28, 2015

Revived, Renewed with no Spew! My Mind Body Spirit Wellness Experience

Working, writing, raising children and just living... I needed something!

I was screaming at the top of my lungs about every little thing.  At one point, I actually noticed spit spewing from the counters of my mouth(looking like a rabbit dog).  I was so frustrated with everyone and everything.  I knew something was wrong with me!

I use to meditate twice a day, but since work demands had increased, I neglected my regular exercise schedule and daily meditations.

I was an unbalanced, nervous and spitting wreck!  

While browsing through Facebook, I saw a reminder from Twanna Moore, for her 
Mind, Body, Spirit Wellness Experience Workshop.  Here we go!  I went to her website, read about the workshop and gladly pay my fee.  I needed this and I always want to support women doing positive things for our community. 

The day of the workshop,was the same like all the rest.  Busy cleaning, making sure everyone had what they needed.  

Then I made an announcement..."at 3:30,  I'm going to a workshop, so make sure you got what you need.   I will be incog- negro(incognito in Carriceese)  for a couple of hours!!" 

The girls have a deep inner-standing of what emotional and spiritual balance mean to me, so they wanted their mother to get back on track. And they were tried of getting screamed at and spitted on!

I arrived first.  The hotel had a spacious lobby with beautiful furnishings.  Just standing on the gleaming, marble floors, made me relax and take a few deep breaths.  

Twanna greeted me with her usual friendly and welcoming demeanor.  As we sat in the lobby, waiting for the other participates; we discussed life, business and wellness.  She shared her visions with me and I shared some professional concerns with her.  Twanna was setting the environment for release, rejuvenation and healing. 

The other participates arrived and the workshop commenced!  

It was a beautiful experience.  We shared and learned things any person would benefit from, regardless of religious affiliation.  Our Ancestors learned from nature and their environment.  We've stepped away from the basics! Breathing, listening, making our medicines from God given herbs...the list goes on.  

We pollute ourselves with noise(work, daily hustle for more) and synthetic manufactured medicines.  We've forgotten what our ancestors when we couldn't afford doctors and the pharmacy. 

Nature was our pharmacy! 

Mind Body Spirit Wellness Experience promotes self-healing.  The Experience goes through the importance and techniques of meditation, reviews the components of essential oils and their benefits and the Experience supplies the participants with a welcoming environment, for sharing and personal release.  

I left the Experience revived, with a renewed dedication to self and purpose.  I wasn't salivating at the mouth in anger.  Now, I salivate when I see a spinach salad or a handsome African man(blushes)!

Mind Body Spirit Wellness Experience with Twanna Moore, will facilitate the journey of attaining balance - Mind, Body and Spirit!


1love


http://www.carricequinniewriter.com/


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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

My Reflection

What is my reflection teaching me?

I love new experiences and people!  Well, I do now! 

I use to be fearful and shy away from new experiences.  I was fearful of what other people thought of me. I really didn't know what I thought of myself.  I judged others, because I continuously judged myself.  I wasn't good enough for this, or I wasn't skinny enough to wear this...the list goes on. 

Once I took the time to get to know myself and then stop judging other (frankly it didn't matter).  I loved myself, now I could appreciate and respect the difference in others and actually learn from everyone I came in contact with.

My life is my mirror.  My experiences are reflecting continuously learning experiences.  But I have to actually be conscious of these new and glorious moments.  I had a reflective moment last Saturday.

Actually last weekend I had three reflective moments, but now let's just indulge in my 2nd reflective moment.

My 1st reflective moment (I will express "who, what and when" in the months to come) and I met one of my oldest and dearest friends, Chantel.(This is her alter-ego name for privacy purposes). 

A little back ground...Chantel and I have a funny friendship.  We've been friends since childhood and we have had our friendships highs and lows, but now we're on a high.  We're both are re-defining who we are and discovering and strengthening all of our God given powers.  SUPER FRIENDS UNITE!  I get excited about personal discovery and growth!

Back to the story...

Chantel gave me a master "man in the mirror" moment.  She told
reflective moment #1, .."Carrice usually dates men that are loud, flashy and over the top.  When her man walks in the room you can tell exactly what they're about, just from the way they carry themselves. They're the life of the party or the most "something"... handsome, tallest person in room or best dressed.  She usually dates men that are doing the most". 

I was shocked! What? Is that how people see the men I choose to have in my life?  I never looked at it that way.  I thought I was attracted to confidence. 

I didn't refuse her observation.  I just listened. Chantel was holding up a mirror.  She let me see something I could have never seen by myself. 

Later that night, I just sat and thought about our conversations...I know what I find attractive in men - Confidence.  I know what I find unattractive - Fear.  Now to me confidence and fear are polar opposites, so thus actually on the same spectrum.  What does this truly say about me? 

When we are attracted or repelled by a character trait of another person, that trait is something we either value or a trait we have not come to terms with in ourselves.

People may see me as very confident, but deep down inside I'm dealing with fear.  So I find blatant,  communicated fear unattractive. Men that camouflage fear with grandiose personalities were attractive to me, because in essence I was living and expressing the same thing.  I was living a lie.

Now I  live to overcome my fear! I've consciously started to erase any validity I once thought those fears held.   

I now love meeting new people and having new experiences.   I stop hiding!  I can see myself in them and there is no judgment.  The good and the bad are all to some extent and reflection of me. The strengths I embrace or the flaws and fears and I need to access.

I learn more about myself with each encounter.  My hope, after meeting me, people learn more about themselves.  Or at least I make them think and ask themselves questions that will one day, start them on a personal journey. 

Everyone is not ready to look in the mirror. So we continue to have surface interactions and never really delve into true encounters and relationships.

But for me, It's time!  I want more and I deserve more.   You all are my reflection.  I am me because you are you...and I thank Chantel and all my mirror toting friends,  for all of our moments and the moments yet to reflect.  

You may not be ready or you may not agree, but these are just Expressions by Carrice.

1Love

www.carricequinniewriter.com

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