Relating and Relationships - Learn, Love and Lead

Let's express relating and build relationships.   To have a family we must learn to relate and build relationships.  First, we must have relate and build relationships with ourselves.

Moving along through life and never taking a self-inventory will produce a life of misery and regret.

I take a self-inventory every month.  What am I doing to progress towards my goals?  What kind of children am I raising?  Am I happy? Am I depressed?  Do I add positive purpose to the people in my life?

If any response is ,"no"... then I need to critically think of a plan for change.

We must learn who we are.  We must love ourselves, then we must lead our lives to accomplish our personal dreams.

LEARN

Learn yourself.  We go to school to educate ourselves. We soak up everything about match and science, but if asked, what is our favorite color, we don't know!  What do you like? What can you do with ease?  What are some traits you want in a equal male or female counterpart? Why have my past relationships failed..what was my contribution to their demise?  Ask the important questions. 

We have bachelors, masters, specialist degrees and even PhD's, but we are flunking Self 101. 

Get to know yourself!  I literally sat down for 10 months during my last pregnancy, and learned Carrice.  Why this, why that.. what I like and what I can't stand.  I did research on Carrice.  Now, I know myself.  What I want and how I'm going about getting it! I can truly say, I love myself.  I may have some moments, but I allow myself to be human. 

A very close male friend told me once, during a self-doubt moment, "Carrice you must love yourself, all of you!  Your body, all of it!  Your body, your hair, your face, your nose, your stomach - you've had three children!  God made you this way for a purpose, so love it and be appreciative!  YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL CARRICE!"  (he speaks very loud, like he swallowed a microphone, the reason for the CAPS)

He was right - I am BEAUTIFUL!  LOL!

Learn who you are then build in love with yourself - the good, the bad and the ugly. 

LOVE

Once we figure out who we are - LOVE it!  Love yourself. Beyonce has a song Flaws and All, before anyone will love us, we must love ourselves, Flaws and All.  Since we took the time to learn what our personal pluses and minuses are, now we can embrace every part of ourselves. 

Release judgement of ourselves, and accept everything.  

The things we don't like, improve on them.  But stop judging ourselves!  If we stop judging ourselves, then eventually we'll stop judging others.  We'll have control over ourselves and wouldn't even care to judge and control others.  We can then live our lives and lead ourselves to greatness!

LEAD

Lead your life and create your dreams!  We now know who we are, we accept and love every part of ourselves, now it's time to lead ourselves in creating the life we want.  So many of us are living for everyone else. We never want to "rock the boat" and be different.  Actually that's what this "LIFE" experience is all about. 

Create your own personal experience and LEAD the way!  

Develop and cultivate what you do with ease and then live in that PURPOSE. Create for ourselves. Work for ourselves. Live our life.  People may not be responsive to the changes at first, but if we are diligent in our purpose; they will respect the changes. 

Learn, Love and Lead ourselves to the life and love we want. Nothing comes without work. A beautiful face and hard muscles will fade over time. However, a beautiful-strong mind and spirit will be everlasting.  

Relating to ourselves in a more positive manner will build better loving relationships. Productive relationships equals Productive Families. 

1love, 

Carrice
www.carricequinniewriter.com 

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Community - Succeed Together

The weather is changing and I feel a new shift approaching in my life.  Time to put action to my words and persistently thrive in my purpose! 

When we make a conscious decision to change,then add persistent action  - EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

First the change will start within, then the community will be there for support.  

Community?  Yes, our community!  

But wait...we don't have communities anymore!  

We barely have stable family units.  Just single-parents or married, not in love partners, in constant SURVIVAL MODE trying to maintain the image of  happiness. 

I'm being sarcastic(but I'm really not)...

Where is my community?  Who do I turn to when I feel weak?  When I feel like not surviving through another work week?  When I'm emotionally exhausted from parenting hormonal teenagers?

I generally internalize all my real problems, then over time; make a way.  That's emotionally exhausting! This is why I meditate daily, to free myself from all the stress.  Of course, I have friends and my mother(shout-out to my mom); but where is my community?

Community is defined as : 

1. A group of people living in the same place, or having a particular characteristic in common, especially one practicing common ownership

2. A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interest, and goals.

3. Joint Ownership and Liability

We've become so individualistic.  What I want, What I need, What's in it for me - WE have forgotten about the WHOLE.  

I live in a nice neighborhood, but do I really know my neighbors?  NO! We all live separate lives.

Yes, I have friends.  We talk about our problems, personal and family issues, but do we really support each other in resolving these conflicts? If my daughter is failing math, does my friend care?  If her son is having a hard time coping with the social changes of high school, do I truly care and  take ownership that her problem is my problem?  

NO. 

We're in a time where, their problem is their problem.  Yes, I will give some soothing words of advice.  But will I actually support her in putting action to my words of support? 

Community is Joint Ownership and Liability.  In a community, if her son was having a hard time, then my son is  having a hard time.  We are ONE.  The community would come in and support her family in helping the child. 

In a community, when one is weak the community is weak.  When one marriage is dissolving, the community is losing an important component.  The community is liable for not counseling and maintaining that marriage.  Therefore, a community will do everything to heal the couples' marital problems.  A weak family unit means a weak community.  They are ONE!

Community is support! We need support! Support to reach our Shared Common Goals!

I believe that's why we have so many divorces, so many single parent homes, so many unwed mothers and fathers, so many boys and girls lost, and so many angry men and women.   We aren't supporting each other through life struggles.  

We hide our problems. Sharing problems is an invitation for judgments from family and friends. Will they truly care or will they just tell my business to everyone and laugh behind my back? Some people can see the struggle of others, but they ignore it.  Some feel if it doesn't affect them personally, then they don't care.  Some generally don't want to be bothered with the burden of actually helping or supporting others through rough times. They seem concerned, but really they would rather just maintain their own lives; surviving and maintaining the facade of happiness,  the best way they can. 

Through all of lives ups and downs we need a community to share in the ups and hold us up when we start to fall.  

I don't know about you, but I need a community.  So, I'm building one!  Starting with my circle! A circle of liked minded individuals to grow and support each other in reaching our shared common goals!   I'm attracting exactly who and what I desire!

This has to stop!  In order for us to succeed and prepare a better place for the next generation, we need strong communities. To have strong communities we must first have strong family units.  Mother, Father and Child.  So for the next couple of weeks I will give my expressions on the family. So we can prepare to grow and build in LOVE with our male and female counterparts to produce balanced, focused children. 

If there is a Feeling of Fellowship because of Shared Common Attitudes, Interest, and Goals - let's be a community. 

Let's stop surviving and let's start THRIVING!

Some may not understand and agree, but these are just the Expressions by Carrice. 

1love

Carrice

http://www.carricequinniewriter.com/

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