Future-Self vs. Present-Self: Tackling Procrastination

Procrastination is the delaying or postponing of action.  With the New Year just a few days away, what's sitting on the "life bench" waiting to get in the game?

Author and entrepreneur, James Clear articulates procrastination as the internal struggle of the Present-Self versus the Future-Self. The Present-Self can't see the future benefits of starting now, due to living in a state of pleasure seeking and instant gratification.

I had to fight my procrastination monster by executing a career/life game plan for myself. I set-up a writing schedule and workout schedule.  To accomplish my career goals - I have to write!  Likewise to achieve and maintain my physical goals - I have to workout! 

Many days I have no desire of going to the gym, I want to surf the internet and snack on chips, but then I imagine walking on the beach in Ghana with my back out.  So I ease on down to the gym and hit the elliptical on Fat Burn!  My Future-Self wins! To satisfy my Present-Self; I listen to my favorite African Hip-Hop playlist as I sweat the stress and back-fat away. 

My Present-Self loves new dresses and pedicures every week. Then my Future-Self loudly whispers, "you already have dresses you've only worn once! You haven't walked any red-carpets, so close pop-up shop advertisement - Invest in Bitcoin and Secure my legacy with Gold!"

Tackling procrastination with a defensive game plan sacks

counter-productive behaviors at the line of scrimmage.  (I know a little something-something about football). 


3 Ways to Tackle Procrastination

1. Have an accountability partner.  Share plans with someone who will hold you accountable to put action to your goals. Have a set time to communicate updates, receive feedback and motivation. 

2. Pair procrastinating tasks with enjoyable tasks. On many occasions, I like pairing writing with a nice glass of wine. When it's gym time, I tune the earbuds to my favorite E.L. song and get this body moving!

3. Love your Future-Self while Motivating your Present-Self. 
Love your potential Future-Self and let your Present-Self move you to decisive action. Imagine and love the way it will feel to wear that little black dress without having to wear a lung collapsing girdle. Love the feeling of success when completing a degree and having the option of choosing from three job offers! Love your Future-Self enough by keeping your Present-Self in check! 

Don't procrastinate! Make the present work for your best future! 

Add Faith, Stir in Trust and Sprinkle with Patience

After applying for several positions within a company, I finally got a promotion and a substantial pay increase. Before signing the job offer, I started to imagine all the potential struggles I would have to encounter.  Could I manage the new responsibly?  Did I ask for enough money to compensate the tax increase? 

I sabotaged my own happiness! 

This year has continuously brought this character flaw to my attention.  As I begin making my writing career a personal priority, dissecting my history and relationship with money, and raising three little girls; I've had to learn how to live in the present and bask in my successes without contemplating imaginary disasters.   

If I've had enough mental courage to make it this far, why wouldn't I have enough intelligence and gumption to take my life, my family, and my career to the next level? 

The ups and downs, the twists and quick roundabouts of 2017, have opened my eyes to areas of sweeping personal, physical and spiritual improvement. 

Now I add faith, stir in trust and sprinkle it all with patience. 

FAITH

I needed to increase my Faith in the physical, emotional and spiritual support systems presently available to me. 

The simple fact of my existence is all the proof required to honor the majesty of my life's purpose.  

If I weren't meant to be here, I wouldn't be.  Now, I just need to have faith and believe in my goals and make every day a living and breathing testimonial of my gratitude for having the ability to share my talents with the world.  

The creator wouldn't give me a dream if I couldn't accomplish it!  Increasing my faith gives me space to relax and create.  The rest is being worked out on my behalf.  So why worry? 

With faith, I'm attracting all the physical and emotional support I need in the here and now. So all bases are covered. I just have to do my work and become the person I was destined to be. 

TRUST

I needed to trust my talent. I had to believe in my ability as a writer.  I was procrastinating making excuses to why I didn't have time to write, why I couldn't write on a daily basis and why I had to stay in a career so misaligned with my purpose; my life was a lackluster empty shell. I was living for the weekend. Then hated to see Monday morning. 

Trusting the process of manifestation is needed in creating new beginnings.  

I've always had the personal deposition of persistence and perseverance when it came to handling problems and conflicts. Now, trusting in those same personal characteristics would be the key to manifesting all my dreams.  Then creating a life of endless possibilities. 

PATIENCE

This journey has been a test of my patience!  When things haven't happened as quickly as I'd hoped, it grew my patience. Certain times for a variety of reason, I couldn't do anything but wait!  During incubation periods, I nurtured other talents, doing remedial studies of my life, making sure I would be ready for my new existence.  

Patience kindles the gentle energies of gratitude.  

Practicing patience makes me grateful for what I already have.  Patience develops my emotional stamina, making me internally invincible to external distractions. Now in every task, I sprinkle patience, becoming fully present to all life has to offer. 

Slowly simmering or being brought to a raging boil, the added ingredients of Faith, Trust and Patience makes this life savor with the sweet smells of success. 

What Moves You?

As humans, we're moved on our emotions! We see something, it evokes feelings and we take action!  We hear something; it evokes an emotion we take action!  We smell something, it evokes an emotion, then yet again, we proceed with a specific action! 

What Moves You?

The Plutchik's Theory of Emotion states there are only eight primary emotional states:
1. Anger
2. Fear
3. Sadness
4. Disgust
5. Surprise
6. Anticipation
7. Trust
8. Joy



Once again, what moves you?  What emotions are pushing you into action? 

Are your action primarily based on the emotion of fear, surprise or disgust?  You only decided to stay in your current career because you're fearful of not making enough money to feed your family? Or do you trust yourself and your talents enough to start your own business? 

To thrive and move pass merely surviving, we must move from a place of Trust, Joy, and Anticipation.  Many of us are living within the emotions of Fear, Anger, and Disgust.   

Staying in a unhealthy relationship, due to the fear of not being desirable to any other person, isn't living! It's holding us hostage, to continuously experience the emotions of Panic, Terror, Timidity, and Apprehension (refer to emotion graphic).  

Being overly distracted (state of surprise) by television and pop culture, instead of proactively learning how to manage your finances will not benefit your wallet. Your relationship with money is perpetually dwelling in Uncertainty (refer to emotion graphic). 

With two more weeks before 2018, it's time to take action and evaluate our emotions and learn precisely...

What Moves You? 

10 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

*This is a article I did for private client.  The client changed the topic at the last minute, so this was never published.  I hate to waste brain cells, so please enjoy!* 

If you’re habitually single and you continue experiencing the dreadful, agonizing pains of casual dating then more than likely you’re the problem!

It’s time for a check-up from the neck up!  These are 10 reasons why you’re still single.  See yourself, even slightly, in any of these; consider making some personal adjustments before reentering the dating scene.

1. Too Desperate  

All relationships require some interdependence, yet there is a fine line and some just smell of Desperation 5.0.  Desperation is never attractive! Never call a new perspective partner ten times a day.  Calling to see how their day is going is fine, but calling every hour on the hour is a nuisance. Relax and breathe! The right partner will come along, and things will just flow.  There will be ease and a heartfelt magnetic rhythm pulling you two closer and closer together. 

2. You’re a Liability Not an Asset

Before contemplating any relationship, you must ask yourself, “Am I a liability or an asset?” Please, be truthful in your evaluation. Bringing a prospective partner into a financial hurricane will only put stress on the relationship.  Have a plan to clear your debts, learn your spending habits, and seek assistance from a financial counselor or accountant.  Now, when you meet your relationship match, you would only be an asset to not a liability.

3. Living for the Weekend

Friday, at closing time, you beat everyone to Happy Hour! You live for the weekend! Your weekend consists of Happy Hour, the newest club opening, only to conclude with the late night after-hours spot. There is nothing wrong with going out with friends to have a good time and release stress. Nonetheless, balance is the key. You’ll be surprised who monitors your social media pages. Enjoy your life, but maybe not post a different club pic every weekend.

4. Birds of a Feather Flock Together

“Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”  You are your friends!  We surround ourselves with certain people because they affirm our current life situations. If your desire is marriage, why are all your friends single? Surround yourself with people who have what you want, and then you will rise to the occasion. Your happily married friends are the external motivation needed to get you to the altar.

5. Fear Change

To get different, you must be different!  Many complain, yet never make the necessary changes to bring about any profound changes. Successful people aren’t afraid of change; they embrace it.  Make new friends, venture to different events.  Experiencing things out of your typical day to day will open you up to new people.  You may just meet your partner at that New Mexican restaurant!

6. Home Body

Home body is the person who never leaves the nest. They want a partner, but have a fear of traveling and living away from their childhood home or city. But don't worry, your potential mate will miraculously knock on your door one day!  Not going to Happen! Still living in the same state since the age of 5, RELOCATE!  Learn to travel! Your dream partner may not live in your city! Get off the couch and start living! 

7. Your House is Haunted

Dating you is the equivalent of living in a haunted house! In the silent hours of the night, the screams and sighs of your dating nightmares haunt every conversation and encounter. Cleanse and heal from your past heartbreaks.  Each failure can also be a learning experience when you change your perspective.

8. No Flexibility

THE LIST! Women do this literally, while men do this mentally. The list may even be realistic and honorable at face value but creates an all or nothing atmosphere prematurely.  Your prospect may comply with 95% of your demands but only falter by 5%.  You overlook the good, focusing on the bad.  Everyone has room for improvement.  Be flexible, communicate your concerns and your perspective partner just may surprise you with a game plan to give you that last 5%.

9. Can’t see your Reflection

Positive relationships build you up and to move you forward in life.  Some understand this and the ones who do not are still single. All encounters are a reflection of our current circumstances. A prospective partner will be a reflection of your current status – the good, the bad and the ugly!  See yourself and transform accordingly.

10.    Insecurities equals NO Love

Low esteem and insecurities are red flags and yield controlling relationships. Once you see your reflection, you can begin the journey to complete self-love.  Learn to love your true self, the positives and the negatives.  If you can change the negatives, great!  If not, love them still.  When you love yourself, others will love you too.

Check-up complete! NOW smile, reflect and adjust! 

Be Quiet, Yet POWERFUL!

Everyone won't believe in your dreams!  

Don't take the lack of support to mean your dreams aren't

attainable.  Just take it for what it is - that person or group of people can't see your vision for YOUR life.  Once again it's YOUR life and YOUR dream! 

You are the only necessity needed!  

 Believe in yourself!

 Have a plan of action!

 Practice persistence!

 Embrace a positive attitude!

Along the journey, you will attract everything you need. 
When you walk in your purpose and work in your talents, there is no hurdle you can't overcome.  

Of course, support from family and friends would be helpful.  The people who instantly have the support of their family and close friends are satisfied and feel supported while tackling all life goals.  On the other hand, some have to be their own motivation and support; which is OK!  Personally, the people enduring with the latter circumstances,  have the opportunity of weaving a beautiful life story of reliance and self-love, holding it all together by robust tenacity.  

Real character shows in times of conflict!

What are you made of?

If my life had been comfortable, I wouldn't have anything to write, and my blogs would be one dimensional and honestly, boring.  I graciously thank every obstacle!  My obstacles are reminders of who I am and what I'm capable of overcoming. 

Be the support you need, until external support comes.  If it never comes, fine!  Now you've learned how to support yourself and persevere.   

Keep your dreams sacred!

Dreams come to us, during our most quiet hours.  So keep

them just that - QUIET! Share your goals with only close friends, family or your journal.  Social media isn't the place to announce proclamations of the spirit. It's YOUR life journey.  

Your actions will make all the noise and attract everything you need! 

Your dreams can become a reality.  Your creator wouldn't let you see it if you didn't have the POWER to make them come true! 

Note To Self

Note to Self: When you let go and learn to listen, things will start to flow in and unnecessary people and things will flow out. 

Frank Morrison, www.fineartandyou.com

Releasing the desires of a material world, while entering a new plane of ancestral love has moved me to a different reality.

I'm learning to love myself more.

I'm evolving a new respect for the individual growth of all my children. 

I'm accepting things I have no control over and effectively diminishing their affects on my mental state and wellness. 

I'm welcoming to new experiences and the people revolving around them. 

This reality of time is fleeting. Everyday is precious and there is no space for unhappiness.  

Once I believed suffering was the foundation of my humanness, I was suffering because of my presumed transgressions and spiritual flaws. I was suppose to suffer! Suffering was a test of my spiritual reliance.  I could never be perfectly at bliss because I was made to suffer.  I would overcome, then start suffering again. This was a hostile roller-coaster!

So life was never something I enjoyed, I just endured! 

Frank Morrison,www.fineartandyou.com

But now it's different!  The veil has been lifted! This life was giving to me. For me to make it what I will. If I choose to just endure it, it's my choice! If I choose to make it a everyday bliss party, it's my choice! 

Suffering is not natural to the human condition. It's abnormal! It makes us sick and causes physical diseases and actually alters our brain chemistry.  Suffering is an internal indicator notifying us - SOMETHING IS WRONG! 

When we start seeing ourselves as a perfect, capable of molding life to our dreams, absolutely intuitive whole being  - LIFE WILL BE HEAVEN! Then each day will be a true gift we eagerly unwrap; day after day, after day!

I was told to be happy once. Now I KNOW why...

Note to Self: Find what makes you Happy, then Be It! 

Frank Morrison, www.fineartandyou.com

My Expressions are Real

Everyone wants to give his or her opinion on a multitude of current events.

 I stick to the things which concern me.  I speak on the matters of being a mother, a woman, raising three girls, writing, going through a divorce, being black living in America, breaking family norms and etc.  I have no direct, personal experience being a father, a man, being gay, a Muslim, a truck driver, living in an racially unbiased country; I don't speak on those things.

You get the point. 

I speak on things I've actually experienced and have some relative knowledge of.  I stay in my realm of experience. There is no need for me to lend an unwarranted opinion about any and everything under the sun.  My little corner of the universe is enough.

Living this way has decreased my stress while increasing my most valuable assets - My TIME and ENERGY! I love my time - I even did a video about it: 

"Reclaiming My Time!" 

All my blog posts are taking from personal life experiences - the good, the bad and the butt-ugly!  If I haven't lived it, I have no valid opinion about it! I share my life, to express the essential fact - we're all more the same than different. 

In closing: I Observe, Live, Reflect then Write. So if I haven't lived it, I can't write it!  

So if you read anything on this blog, it happened! It's Real! Just to bring some validity, I try to add a picture or a video.  

So, thank you for allowing me to share my expressions with you! Please continue to enjoy Expressions by Carrice in all authenticity! 


Kisses and Bliss
Carrice 


Start living that GOLD/BITCOIN Life! Click here for details! 

My V.ery I.mportant P.erson - Henry P. Walker, Sr.

Eli and Sallie Mae Walker

On September 17, 1931, a little boy was born to Mr. Eli and Sallie Mae Walker.  His family couldn't pay the midwife, so his birth certificate wasn't registered until October 12th.  From that day on the baby boy of The Walker Family was Henry P. Walker. 

Henry's father having an entrepreneurial spirit became the owner of the local neighborhood grocery store. Lil Henry would stand outside to meet and greet all his father's patrons. Even though Lil Henry had a speech impediment, it didn't deter him from stuttering through his spill of  profound wisdom and advise.

Henry and Mildred Walker, Sr.

Henry would later go on to graduate high school, marry the poised Mildred Mitchell, become an amateur boxer, father six children, learn and teach the trade of brick masonry and later became a beloved  pastor. He might have been small in stature, but he had a Goliath capacity for success and persistence. 

I didn't meet Henry P. Walker, Sr. until 1978.

My mother presented me to him sometime after my birth.  Henry P. Walker, Sr. is my maternal grandfather and the only consistent father figure I've ever known.  My mother often reminisces about her father.  She reminds us of his humor and how he was always ready with sound advice. 

My grandparents' surprise 40th anniversary celebration

My grandfather was an intelligent business man, yet he was still a kid at heart.  While he was going blind from retinitis pigmentosa, he would pretend to step on us and hit us with is walking stick. I was once told when I was baby, after church services he would present me to the congregation and proclaim, "Let me show you what a granddaughter is suppose to look like!"

Standing outside one of his rental properties

Recently on his documented birthday, my three girls and I blew out candles and sang in his remembrance.  Like my mother, I told my children stories of Henry P. Walker, Sr.  

My grandfather left this physical realm November 4th,  1999.  He was completely blind and bedridden by this time.  The last time I saw him. I kissed him on the cheek, he mumbled something trying to open his mouth. I told my grandfather good bye and I went back to school.  A couple of days later, my mother called me, I hit my dorm room floor.  

Three years later after I gave birth to my first daughter, I saw my grandfather in a dream.  I was asleep in my mother's house in my old bedroom. My grandfather was hoovering over me.  He gave me his signature, perfect Colgate smile and whispered, "I'm proud of you and you'll be O.K."

Family Portrait 

My grandfather's full name was Henry Person Walker.  I've been told the middle name "Person" was also a mistake of the early midwife system.  Even though  my great-grandparents may have wanted the "P" to stand for Percy, "Person" was actually divine foresight.   

Henry Person Walker, Sr. was and still is a V.ery I.mportant P.erson in my life and he touched the lives of many! 

We must keep family histories and legacies alive for the next generation.  I try to share information with my children about Henry P. Walker, Sr. and other family members, so their memories can breathe and have life.  In doing this, I salute my heritage and cement ancestral pride in my children. 

We must remember the important Persons of our lives.  They may not be physically with us anymore, but their influence can live forever. We must speak life back into the stories of our passed and forgotten loved ones. 

I share the life stories of Henry P. Walker, Sr., so my children can look at family pictures of a man they never physically met and say in the present tense..."Hey Momma, that's Granddaddy!"

Henry Person Walker, Sr at 35 yrs. old

Listen

Each connection leads us to another destination.  

Many times we think we've made it!  We feel like we have reached a certain height of success and some may be "beneath us." We get fooled by material possessions or social status. Fame and trinkets supply simple moments of gratification, but wisdom is our lifetime security blanket.

Each connection leads us to another destination.

I'm developing my capacity of listening and observing.  I tell my daughters, all the time, "sometimes if you just sit and listen you may learn something! " Majority of our mother-daughter talks turns into my daughters prematurely trying to defend themselves and their actions. They always have an explanation or excuse. Many of us are maneuvering through life's interactions just like my teenage daughters - We're ever ready for the rebuttal! 

Often, a rebuttal isn't warranted.  Just listen!  Be open to constructive feedback. Listen!  Perhaps something will enter your ear canal, beat on your eardrum, then spark several synapses to create new and wonderful learning experiences. Acquiring new information never stunted anyone's growth! 

Each connection leads us to another destination. 

One of my mentors offered the advice of making 100 videos in 100 days.  I listened, and the experience has broadened my voice thus attracting marvelous personal and business partnerships. Because I could listen and always stay coach-able; my creativity has opened to yet another communication channel and my overall confidence has taken flight. 

All videos are available on my YouTube Channel and Facebook. 

Day 45 - #100in100 Listen

As the saying goes, "Trust the person who is always learning, never trust the person who has already learned everything. " - Unknown

It's Time

My birthday is next Friday, August 18th!  I've lived 38 glorious years, and now I've reached year 39! 

Honestly, I feel 28!  Nevertheless, these gray strands beg to differ!

I'm so grateful for all my experiences, and I'm looking forward to what year 39 has to offer!  After my recent visit back to Ghana, I only envision positive, rainbow clouds of abundance and continued growth!  

My family thinks it's unreal for a single mother of three girls, just taking off to Ghana for a week. Yes, it may sound impossible, but I made it possible by putting myself first and doing the things needed financially to make it possible to live my best life possible. My passion is completing my first novel, The Return.  So, I had to be immersed in the culture to truly have the ability to write true-to-life characters.  One minute had the opportunity of walking the grounds of a luxury hotel, then the next I was watching my step across wet, red clay roads.  My experience was exciting and humbling. 

But I had to go for it, once again.  I couldn't second guess myself.  The Return is too important! 

La Palm Royal Beach Hotel - Accra, Ghana 

I'm not saying it's easy, but I had to rewire my brain.  I wasn't a stranger to international travel, once being married to a professional football player, but now I was going with solo pockets.  With three children going to school and being involved in extracurricular actives - face it I have MAJOR responsibilities! 

I've learned it's OK for me to have a life.  Believe it or not, my girls will one day be off living their own fabulous lives and then what?

I'm not going to be sitting around, bugging them because I'm lonely - NEVER!  (Nevertheless, I will bug them, but only for my own personal comic relief)  

I never neglect my responsibilities, and I still find time for Carrice.  By making time for myself, I'm teaching my children to put themselves FIRST.  

Cruising the streets of Accra

By seeing their mother travel and live fearlessly, I hope my children will be motivated to do the same! 

Fishing Community, outside "The Door of No Return" Cape Coast Castle - Cape Coast, Ghana

So take time for yourself!  Learn what your unique talents are and go for your dreams.  It's never too late!  It doesn't matter if you're a grandparent or a double retiree - It's Time! 

When I began to put myself first, everything fell into place.  I give myself "Me" time.  Putting myself first made me a better listener and mother. Now my daughters have a present mother during our "teenage"  mother/daughter discussions. I now laugh and play with my children.  We're learning to enjoy this thing called Life!  

Playing around with my youngest daughter

It's Time to live our best lives!  Find the harmonious balance between giving and receiving, and live in it, continuously! 

If you want to learn how to make the most of your time and finances, shoot me a personal email, Carrice Quinnie.  I look forward to Connecting! 

#ConnectwithCommunication