Some relationships or partnerships may never be the same after an altercation, yet the majority can benefit from reconciliation. We must set better boundaries in all interactions. Miscommunication occurs between the areas where boundaries were not established.
The new relationship will look different and new boundaries must be made.
True-to-Life Example:
After being moved to a new team, I experienced some professional hardships. My new supervisor had not taken the time to get to know me. So, she didn't have a mental repository of how I conducted myself or how I expected others to govern themselves regarding my professional well-being. Therefore, she assumed I would accept her rude and disrespectful behavior, simply because she was my supervisor.
NEGATIVE!
I requested a meeting, so we could get to know one another and try to come to a viable professional partnership. I never asked to be transferred from the team because my transfer wouldn't have helped my supervisor or myself.
Some conflicts are necessary to mature professionally.
We later had to have a third party to mediate, but I never burned the professional relationship. At the end of it all, my supervisor learned to respect my work ethic. I learned professional patience and perfected my conflict resolution skills. #ConnectwithCommunication
In personal relationships, I also try to maintain the same motto. Life, friendships, and relationships are cyclical and change over time. I never want to burn bridges, just realign the relationship to suit my current location in life. Every person you meet or connect with, will not be a permanent fixture throughout all phases of your life.
True-to-Life Example:
A couple of years ago, a lovely sister and I began building a sisterhood. In this current climate of African American women and the growing mistrust of close friendships, this friendship was refreshing. We had experienced many of the same trails and tribulations and our children were around the same age.
As you could imagine, the debate got heated. I decided to cease conversing about this particular issue altogether before I became "angry clap back" Carrice (oh she is there)!! I also knew I would have to see my "sister-friend" in many public arenas, so I didn't want us to get to the point of no return.
Nevertheless, this miscommunication gave me a clear picture of where my friend was personally and spiritually. Some people are not at the same place personally, and that's ok! It's not our job to make them see things through our eyes. It's our responsibility to move in love, be mindful of others, just maneuver and act accordingly to our life's purpose!
Needless to say, I was beyond letting others dictate any of my actions!
Some personal conflicts are tests of your commitment to self
By letting cooler heads prevail, giving both of us space and time, we were able to rebuild the friendship with a renewed respect and a clear understanding of personal boundaries.
"A Bridge is a structure built to span physical obstacles without closing the way underneath such as a body of water, valley, or road, for the purpose of providing passage over the obstacle" (Wikipedia, 2017).
In life, these figurative bridges help us stay above or overcome personal and professional obstacles. Life is cyclical! Storms may come. When the river rises, you never know who or what you may need to be your bridge over troubled waters.
Never burn bridges, realign them! Just access the situation with a clear calm focus, then readjust and find effective ways to maintain a space of mutual respect and understanding. #ConnectwithCommunication
Words spoke in anger cause more regret than triumphs!
Disclaimer: There are exceptions to every rule. Burn baby burn to all physically or emotionally detrimental affiliations. If children are involved, always give space to the other party to mature and hopefully reconcile their abusive behaviors. Always protect the welling-being of yourself and all minors involved.
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