The Love I Didn't Know, Part II

How was I to recognize genuine love when the first man designated to love me fell short?

Well, eventually I did!  

With one head-butt, I realized my life could either go two ways. I would either be dead or in jail for defending myself. Therefore, removing myself from the environment was the safest and smartest decision.  
I asked myself some serious questions.  

• What was my pattern with all my relationships? 
• Why did I always expect the worse?
• Did I accept ownership of my life choices?
• Who was I ? What were my talents?
• Did I love myself enough to want the best?
• How did the absence of a father affect my overall view of men and relationships? 

Now I didn't make this miraculous change overnight or six months. This was and still is an ongoing personal journey.  I really started seeing a change when I wouldn't settle in my friendships and personal relationships.  


Courtesy of pinetrest.com

I stopped allowing disrespect and neglect.  I began to teach people how to treat me.  If this was a problem, then I politely removed myself from the person or the environment. I became comfortable with my own company.  I embraced every aspect of myself.  Things I didn't like, I worked and changed them.
I began taking compliments.  Yes, taking compliments!  Often times, I would receive a compliment, then proceed to point out a flaw or add a "but" to the person's compliment.  Now I simply say, "Thank you"!  



Courtesy of drdivanyoung.com

With issues concerning my father and my love relationships, I had to recognize the similarities between the men and my father.   I become aware of the fact, I chose men very similar to my father. I had to acknowledge I had "daddy issues". Now I can check myself, if and when I start to fall back in those same destruction patterns and behaviors.  

By acknowledging the behavior, I now had the power to change it. 

I'm learning to love myself as I am.  I was made this way for a purpose. So I am embracing myself and loving the way I am. I understand I'm not perfect.  Nevertheless, I love myself! 

The more I love myself the more other people love me.

Some couldn't take the changes, but they respect me for living out my life's journey.
  
How did I recognize genuine love? I began to develop a genuine love of self.  Who I was, where I came from, finding my purpose and talents. 

I literally began to love myself! 

Yes, not having a consistent father figure, will give any man and woman daddy issues. When we acknowledge the loss and pain, we can own it and heal.  I started to truly love myself, I expect only the best and I also give the best in return.  I recognized the genuine love because I genuinely grew in love with myself.  

Carrice, Present Day